Absurd Weight Savings

I've been spending too much brainpower lately thinking about all of the ridiculous optimizations I can make for this Sunday's hill climb time trial (HCTT). At about 181 lbs these days, I need every advantage I can get. Here are a few of my silly ideas.
  • Weigh all of my rideable socks, and wear the lightest pair.
  • Possibly forego the heart rate monitor.
  • Weigh the skin suit, a jersey, and my shorts, and pick the lightest setup.
  • Pin my number on with only four safety pins, and/or make a minimalist frame number.
  • Remove water bottle cage bolts and headset top cap.
  • Use my Zipp 404s (lightest wheels I have) with the lightest skewers I have.
  • Remove springs from skewers.
  • Fill tires with helium.
  • Clean the bike - dirt is heavy.
  • Forego sunglasses and gloves. (I don't use chammy cream, bit I would forego that, too.)
  • Remove front derailleur and just rock the small ring (probably not happening).
  • Diet aggressively this week to get the weight down.
  • Warm up with too many layers to shed as much water weight as possible.
  • Use lightest possible computer. Does the Quark work with the PowerTap head? It should.
  • Use the Roubaix instead of the Aloha for the weekend? It might be lighter.
I don't think I'll do all of these, but I'm always thinking.